Starting my day off with a derpy picture. I know I’m not the most beautiful thing in the world but I honestly wonder what its like to be ugly. Then I thank my lucky stars I’ll never have to experience that. K. Bye.

I just got done eating dinner and let me tell you. That shit was bomb. I mean it was all covered in saturated fat but I guess I could get over it since it’s a Sunday. I can handle all the extra hydrogen’s even though I’m trying to get some abs. I hate being plain as fuck. I’m just a frame with some skin and chub. It’s bullshit. I want muscle! 

Today I cleaned my room and reorganized mostly everything. I just haven’t hung all my clothes in my closet yet. I really should before they are laying all over. I hate that but sometimes I’m so lazy that I just let it sit there and bitch until I finally start to pick it up. Ugh. I hate sharing a room with my little brother Jonathan. He’s the most disgusting kid I’ve ever met. He literally cries every time my parents tell him to take a shower. What the fuck? Who likes being that dirty? I have to take like 1 to 2 showers a-day and even with those I feel a bit dirty. He’s staying the night at our cousins tonight so I’m happy to be able to get away from him and his messy ass. I wish the webcam on here was better quality. Then maybe everyone would see how ugly I really am. I dunno. I’m gonna go take my sleeping pill now. I’ve got school in the morning and it looks like baseball practice will be in the rain tomorrow. I can’t wait to play in the mud.

hipster-ectomy:

I dunno. Staying up late makes me do stupid shit. DGAF.

I need to work out tho. I just honestly do not have the time.

School/Baseball/College/Scholarships

I’ve got a lot of shit to take care of.

Maybe I’ll do push ups in the morning or s/t. Yeah. Right. lol

So I’m up late as fuck because I didn’t take my anti-depressant/sleeping pill. I mean this is different though. This isn’t one of those nights where  I feel stupid and dumb and ugly or wallow in my sorrows or anything. This is just a kick back late night. i have the house to myself and my wi-fi connection is extra strong because everyone else is sleeping. That reminds me. I have to brush my teeth, turn the lights in the kitchen off, and read a little before I do go to bed. Today in English we started this book, “Black Boy”. I thought the guy was demented at first but now I just see that he’s an idiot. Nothing new. I should be utilizing my time and doing Spanish work but I’d rather not. Even though I really should. Maybe I’ll do like 1 or 4 assignments. I really need to pass this CC class to be accepted by any of the colleges that I applied to. A-G is the dumbest thing I have ever been through. I am going to be so happy when it’s not even a factor anymore. So, I guess I made the baseball team. I can’t wait for the season to start. At first I was a little nervous but now it’s basically the only reason I enjoy school. Well. Not the only reason.

I took this with my phone camera because my Dad is hogging the damn laptop. That’s why it looks all awk. I cropped my ugly ass closet door out of the picture tho. Anyways, I went to baseball try-outs since I finally got my physical today. Having that old lady touch my balls was so hilarious that I couldn’t help but laugh as soon as she stuck her hand in my boxers. I’m not “of age” so at the clinic I went to my Mom had to be in the room. It was weird but I was only in my underwear. Not to mention I want to go into the medical field so I might as well get used to awkward encounters. Back to baseball tho. I was the SLOWEST kid on the team today when we ran “poles” which is basically running from home out to the farthest part of the field and back. We had to run 10 and I was fucking DYING. I would make excuses like I smoke, I haven’t done extensive running in like a year, and I didn’t eat at all today (which are all true) but I might as well stop that now so it doesn’t become another bad habit added to my other bad habits. The roster is going to be posted tomorrow and honestly I want to make the team and play but at the same time I won’t be that disappointed if I don’t make it. It’ll be one less thing to stress about. At the doctors they surprised me with two vaccinations (why the band-aids on my arm), an eye exam (which I failed so I’m getting glasses), and a heap of medications for all my ailments. There’s a lot of shit wrong with me. lol So, that was my day.

I haven’t shaved my face in like 3 days. I would let it grow out but it looks all scraggly and dumb. I feel like I look like one of those Mexican kids in middle school who haven’t discovered what a razor was. Last night I got so faded and ate so much that I had the worst stomach ache this morning. I hope my stomach doesn’t pull some shit like that tomorrow. I’ve got try-outs.

I stayed home from school today while everyone else left. I haven’t been feeling good lately. I swear I get multiple versions of a cold every damn day. Anyways. I need to start working out and starting my diet. The only thing that’s holding me back is school. I have so much shit to do just about everyday. I hope baseball doesn’t make everything way too complicated. I really want to play.